3.04.2008

6 weeks old


we are finally getting closer to the light...the bright, well rested, not-as-much-crying light. the light that shines when you get more than 4 hours of sleep in a day and acctually get a shower more than once in a 3 day period :). we aren't there yet, espeically since i only got 2 hours of sleep last night...but every once in a while i catch a glimpse...a glorious glimpse and it is beautiful...oh so beautiful.
our little rowan has been such a blessing...a mostly layed back, content (when fed and non-tooting) happy little guy....or at least when he is being touted in his uber-comfy new sling. i feel so blessed each time i look at him...he is finally here...my little boy who will make foster a brother and me a mom of 2. what a delight he is!
my transition into the mother of 2 has been anything but easy. i spent the first 3 weeks petrified of being alone with my seeming insurmountable task of caring for me, and clint and foster and rowan and cleaning and cooking and laundry and bills and groceries, and, and, and, and, and...on and on. my mind kept racing. i kept expecting things to be horrible. and some days it was, but in this, the 6th week, there are more great days than bad ones...there are more smiles than tears and a lot of laughter. praise God that i am coming out of the haze. He is slowly giving me confidence as a mom again...showing me all the areas that i am weak so that i can keep working to be better and care more for my kids and husband. what a hard job, but i cherish the challenge and the gift of motherhood.

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