here's to you scrappy

i've often been referred to as "scrappy."

it never occurred to me, until today, that my innate scrappiness is one of the more useful skills that i possess in my arsenal.

in my days of collegiate tennis, my fellow forehanders were described as "talented," "skilled," "a natural"...but me...i was always "scrappy." at the time, scrappy sounded like a total embarrassment. i so wanted to be one of the talented ones...but little did i know, my scrappy description was actually my secret weapon. my opponents boasted years of private lessons starting at the age of 2. their sweeping forehands were wicked. their service games, perfection. their volley form, unmatched. but you know what? there are many times when scrappy beats out perfection. the drive of scrappiness can take a person far when coupled with quick legs and semi-unpredictable inside outside forehand. i reminisce, because i realized today, that although my days are no longer filled with chasing my scholastic tennis dreams, they are filled with innovative scrappiness that goes un-noticed.

we often find ourselves in a tight spot. well, aren't we all these days? not for lack of effort.
my hubby works hard and i will never complain about him providing for us.

i'm personally convinced it's not the gas prices (europe has been paying $4/gal for quite some time).
it's not the food prices (the chinese spend 1/2...yes one HALF...of their yearly income on food). it's our own over-expenditure. our desire to have a bigger, better, newer this or that.
it's my own desire for these things that causes me to feel slighted when i'm still wearing the same winter jacket from 4 years ago.
my own selfishness that years for a new kitchen table with 6 chairs.
my own envious eyes that see something i want and subsequently feel bad that i don't have it.

there are times when we find ourselves budgeting, crunching the numbers, doubting that it will all work out this month...or next month...or the year after that.

well, i'm letting my scrappy flag fly.
i'm chopping bulk produce.
i'm buying clothes at flee markets.
i'm finding toy fire engines for 50 cents.
i'm buying a bushel of basil for $1
i'm sitting on a folding chair at the kitchen table.
i'm teaching my kids that christmas isn't about toys.
i'm done feeling sorry for myself.
i'm finished of wishing i had more.
i'm thinking of new ways to do the same old things.
i'm fingerpainting with foster in the grass when it's sunny.
i'm taking a nap and not feeling guilty.
i'm kissing my husband for no good reason other than a good reason.
i'm enjoying the pile of pine cones foster found.
i'm not going to care what people think anymore.
i'm determined to live today like i wish i lived yesterday.

even when we are no longer crunching numbers, i'm going to stay scrappy.
scrappy = happy
or something less cheesy.

so today. i solute all those with scrappy appendages and scrap-worn legacies.
hold on to it. be proud of it.
scrap on, my friend. scrap on.


kiss me if you can...


i love flying!
flying and me...something better there could never be!
up where the air is clean
and the bald spot on my head can't be seen

wait. feeling a little scared.
you all look like little ants from way up here!
forget what i said before.
leave the flying to the birds.
i feel my dinner coming up in curds.

false alarm. nevermind.
i love it again!
again, again, again!


eating chopsticks

we had chicken lo mein last week courtsy of my dad.
it was delicious.
it resulted in some word confusion, though.

spagetti is now referred to as "chopsticks"

chopsticks are now referred to as "getti" (as in spa-getti)

"would you like to use a pair of spagettis to eat that chopstick?"

it's the little things...

have you ever noticed it's the little things in life that are the most fun?

i'm realizing more and more that the things that we enjoy most are each other.
and i'm realizing more and more that the littlest, most mundane things are the most interesting.

i spent the morning discovering things that we use everyday and most days don't notice.

well, today i'm noticing.

here is what i found:


love-self-ness. i love me.

have you ever realized something about yourself?
something that you hope other people don't see

well, i realized something today that i have realized many times before
but i always seem to conviniently forget

i love myself. way too much.
it's always there.
creaping up on me.
waiting to rear it's uglyness in my heart.

let me clarify.

i love doing things that i want to do
i love having things done the way i want them done
although many times there is an equally sufficient or better way

i love checking my email 12 times a day (ok, 15 times)
i love having my phone within an arms reach at all times.
if i go somewhere and forget my phone, i turn around and go home to get it.
how crazy is that?
what am i going to miss out on?
my stunning social life?
a call from hollywood saying they are going to make an uber facinating movie about my uber facinating life and pay me 1 billion dollars?
an alien marcian calling to tell me that UFO's are real and they really are coming to take over?
seriously, ang.
put the cell phone down.
turn off your computer.
(or at least when you are done writing this blog :)

i love convincing myself that i don't love myself
i love thinking that i am unselfish until i see a flash of my inate self-love-ness
and then try to pretend that i didn't see it

so back to the point...

i read something today that reminded me that i love myself too much
and i hate it that which is within me.

this is one of the most convicting/best/true/sad/honest blogs i have ever read.

if you dare, read it.
but you just might realize that you too, love you.




how to...

have the perfect anniversary.

start with handwritten 4 page love letter (yes, count them. 4 beautiful pages).

make wife cry with your thoughful and perfect words of love.

take wife on surprise visit to japanese garden where you proposed
surprise wife at garden with lovely pearl neclace and matching earrings

get kicked out of garden for bringing kids into said garden
(who makes a rule that you can't have kids in a garden?)
at least we got some pics before we were ushered out by the angry garden caretaker :)

do all the things you normally do, like making foster grilled cheese for lunch, feeding rowan mooshie sweet potatoes, and being the husband your wife loves to love.

i love you.

holy matramony, it's been 5 years!

could it be true?
could you and i have been married for 5 whole big ones?
doesn't feel like it.
doesn't feel like it at all.

how can i explain a man that i love so?

a man who hasn't complained about anything in recent memory
even taking out the smelly trash every morning before work

a man who is always dreaming of a new project
even if it seems impossible

a man who keeps our dreams alive
even the ones i forget about

a man who calls me everyday for no reason
which is perhaps the best reason of all

a man who can fix anything
and make it beautiful

a man who dreams of building his own place to call home
with a big yard, a big dog, and a big tractor

a man who has little-to-no fear
not even of giant spiders

a man who does all the little things
like reading books to little eyes, and saying prayers to little ears

a man who is stronger than anyone i have ever met
and can dead lift 5 sheets of drywall over his head on any given day

a man who loves comcast sportsnet
and a good chick flick now and again

a man who loves his wife
even one who repaints the same wall for the 5th (yes 1,2,3,4,5) time

a man who keeps me guessing what our life will be next
and i love it.

happy wedding day
i love life living with you.
there is no better place to be
than me, with you.


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