lately...

i have decided that i am officially crazy.
well, not just lately, almost all of the time (my husband will vouch for this)
but more recently, i have been crazilly reminicent about my babies.

i can't help but think about their stories, the way they were brought to me in God's amazing timing and the many, many ways they have changed my life...but i say that in the best way...the changes are amazing and wonderful. i am forever grateful to my sweet little boys for what they have given me.

all this to say, i feel like elaborating, and if you feel like reading, read on. if not, no hard feelings. how would i know if you stopped reading anyway? :)

i remember thinking when i was in college that someday i would get married, have kids, cook turkey tetrizini and sausage egg and cheese casserole just like my mom...but i had no idea how to picture it. it was too scary. too much responsibility. there was no way i could be a mom and clean spitup out of my freshly washed hair, or poop out of light beige carpet...wipe drippy noses with my own sleeve, or have lunch by eating the remnants of a grilled cheese that was recently mouthed and then spittout by a picky 18 month old.

if i could only tell my former self how much fun it would be to do all of those things...although "fun" is a relative term, the fun comes from the honor of loving and nurturing the future - our legacy - God's legacy...a future warrior for Christ...a future husband, father, drummer, basketball player, artist, skydiver, engineer, snowoarder...and how amazing it is to have your little boy say your name for the first time...and then say it over and over as if to reinforce how special you are to him. a little boy that throws his arms around you and won't let go when you tuck him into bed because he loves hugging you. a little boy who shouts "AMEN!" as loud as he can after we are done praying together because he knows already how special Jesus is.

to have a husband that cherishes time at home with his wife and kids more than anything else...even tuesday night basketball with the guys :) to expirience the love of a child is the coolest and most all incumpassing love-matic expirience of my life...i praise God that i have been blessed with the opportunity...nay the seincere challenge....of raising children. am i up for it? am i able to do it? am i the best mom in the world? quickly and humbly i answer no. i have no idea what i am doing most days, and the daunting task of keeping up with 2 kids gets the better of me sometimes...

but most times, i can only ponder at what like was like before kids...i can hardly remember it. it is while i am just about to compute a single complete thought that i am blindsided by a warp-speed tennis ball in the side of my head or a racecar thrown at just the right velocity to bruse but not puncture the skin of my shinbone that i remember...my life is just as it should be...it's perfect. well, it's not "perfect" but yet, it is. my house of boys....one tall, one short, and one right inbetween. i couldn't ask for more!