not-so-triumphant torture

my worst fear in life: attack by insects, namely ones with long lanky legs

this morning started off great.
our usual saturday morning pancakes
laughter as foster jumps on the couch cushions in hungry anticipation

suddenly, out of the corner of my heightened bug senses
i see it.
scampering at lightning speed across the kitchen floor:
my nemesis.
a huge centipede breed with 1000 long hairy legs
and an "i dare you" attitude.

with jungle-cat-like-reflexes, i spring into action
one gumbi arm stretches the width of our kitchen
and grasps a large "man size" glass mug
(so heavy in fact that i literally must use two hands to sip from it)
but not today.

this mammoth was not getting away.
it was going to pay dearly for trespassing on my laminate.

my other gumbi arm places the mug over the varmint
and he immediately scales the glass walls in a feverish attempt to escape.

not today, my friend. not today.

foster and i watch from a distance as the leggy intruder
flings himself to and fro beneath his glass imprisonment.

my skin is still crawling at the thought of him.

i decide to further my torture by spraying a lethal dose of bug spray
under the mug so as to successfully inoculate the creature and send him into
the afterlife within moments.

i gaze proudly as he squirms under the powerful fumes

"hooray!" i spout with glee..."the bug is dying!"

his tentacles begin to atrophy and he starts to fidget with terror
as death sets in.

my sweet little boy
(who i apparently failed to notice during my triumphant torture session)
looks up at me with his big sad brown eyes and says:

"but, mommy, i like bugs!!!"