that's one of the truths i am learning about God as i listen to beth moore.
(we are studying her series on David...i would highly recommend it. i'm learning so much more than i ever realized about the complicated and incredible life story of David.)
God's Word is strong and the conviction in my heart is painful, but like a soft southern accent, He is not looking to shatter me. to destroy my tenderness. in the midst, i can feel God calling to me that my feelings of exhaustion and obvious shortcomings aren't failure.
instead, they are the perfect place for God's supernatural strength...the kind that can't be explained.
it was just yesterday that i was telling myself about all the things i can't handle. the things i can't keep up with no matter how i try. it's the daily things that should be more manageable. after all, i've been doing this mom thing for nearly 7 years. shouldn't i be better at it by now? shouldn't i be better equipped to handle squabbles and sharing and what to make for lunch and dinner? shouldn't i have brilliant cleaning tactics to scrub spilled formula off of new couches and inventive ways for keeping laundry perfectly folded?
what's the matter with me?
so and so blogs every.single.day.
so and so's house looks like a magazine ad.
so and so is always dressed and ready for the day by 7 am.
so and so has a thriving home business and still manages a home and kids and everything else.
so and so is so positive and productive and crafty.
what's the matter with me?
i can't remember the last time i blogged.
the last time my whole house felt moderately orderly.
i have no idea how many months it's been since i woke up and felt rested.
i constantly feel as though the day ahead is already ahead of me.
i don't feel like i'm the right person for this job. this big, important, meaningful, incredibly difficult job.
i'm not what i should be.
my shortcomings are splattering everywhere.
me, me, me.
filling my mind with my failures keeps my focus on the things that i am doing wrong instead of the things that God is trying desperately to do right through me.
do i allow Him?
i was challenged today by this thought:
God has created me for this day. for this life. for these kids and this family. even if i don't realize it, He has given me what it takes to thrive, no matter how unworthy i am of His passion for me.
what areas can i let go of today, so i can allow God to rush in and show His faithfulness?
From one "so and so" to another (and YOU are the crafty one!)...love and grace. I am SO right there with you, feeling the same feelings, asking the same questions, praying the same prayers. I have a feeling adoption was as much about me getting straight how I see myself and understanding the Father's lavish love and grace for me as it is about Shu's need for a family.
ReplyDelete"God has created me for this day. for this life. for these kids and this family. even if i don't realize it, He has given me what it takes to thrive" Saying "thank you" for this doesn't even come close, but THANK YOU!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHow ironic, that I'd be reading this conviction as I am hiding upstairs in my bedroom, because my day....my week has been so so so awful!!! Feeling very overwhelmed and way under qualified. Trying to see the enemy's attacks for what they are, and rest in peace and grace. (sigh) praying for you Ang, you've actually been on my heart. We have an overdue dinner girls night out date to plan!:) (((hugs)))
ReplyDeletePraying that GODS Strength is magnified and perfected in our weaknesses.
Hi... I sent you a private message on FB.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post.
xo
whoa. I needed that. thanks ang.
ReplyDeleteHey Ang, it takes a lot of courage to write a post like this. It reminds me of my recent daily devotions which have been all about "unhealthy comparisons" ... you are so right, God intentionally created you to be YOU!!! Thank you for sharing your heart! Many can relate (including myself).
ReplyDeleteOkay, back to the packing list, 7 days until we leave for China!
I love this...I can relate completely. Thank you for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteI love this and that I get to study it with you :) what a sweetness in studying this with other moms who understand. xo
ReplyDeleteI made a jpeg of that line I loved it SO much!!! I hope it's ok. I'd love to share it on IG (and credit you of course) if that's ok!
ReplyDeleteNeeded to read this today! Thanks friend! Love you!!
ReplyDeletePlease know you are not alone! Clearly, from the comments above, no matter what stage of life we are in, we all feel this way sometimes! What I have learned about the "So and So's" is that just because it looks a certain way from the outside it doesn't mean anything! That realization helped me to stop being so hard on myself, but it always creeps back in so thanks for this beautiful reminder!
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