3.04.2013

i'm just going to pretend it hasn't been a month since i last wrote. pretend that i'm here all the time. ever writing. ever coming up with brilliant things to say.
no, scratch that.

pretend you and your kids came over to play. paper star wars airplanes and balls and paint splatters are wizzing by. someone is running down the stairs wearing the top half of spider man and the bottom half of a karate uniform. someone is snatching the pumpkin bread on the table before we even get a bite, and someone else is making a baby giggle by throwing cheerios in the air and failing to catch them in their mouth.
that's more normal. pretending that wouldn't be far from the truth. you and i could sit and attempt to talk whilst the children find all sorts of messy things to occupy themselves. i'll pretend not to care about the mess (when inside i'm dying to sweep the floor. i'm a freak about dirty floors...but since mine are rarely clean, everyday i try to get over it :)
let's just pretend it spring. and the breeze is delightfully warm. shoes are kicked aside and the kids are playing in the hose as we sip lemonade in-between trips to gather snacks and paraphernalia.

and that would be more like normal around here.

i often feel like i'm outrageously busy doing a whole lot of things that don't really have anything to show for at the end of the day. with the school pickups and drop offs and the daily therapy sessions, life has been a blurr of late.
except for those moments each day...the moments when i catch someone feeling a bit sad. we snuggle on the couch for a bit and talk through their hurt feelings or their worries. it's those moments that last. not the endless snack trays or the immense quantities of toys that are strewn about within 5 minuets of being cleaned up.
the long talks we have before bed or driving to and fro in the car. the stories they devour from my childhood or the silly tickle fights and projects we conspire together. the deep spiritual questions of life and death. those are the things i will look back and miss someday. in fact, the days when i am drenched in selfishness checking email, or texting about this or that, i already miss out on those moments of awesome. and it's heartbreaking.
i have days or weeks of feeling bogged. exhausted. uninspired.
and i've realized that it's in those moments that God is purposeful about getting my attention.
i often find my worth in what other people think of me. in feedback or comments or assumed opinions. it's a dangerous slope to put ones value in because it's unpredictable and sometimes harsh or quiet. but i do it everyday, and it's a way of viewing myself that i want to change. if my self worth isn't gauged in the way my Creator values me - measured in the truth of how He sees me, then every other measurement will make me feel lousy and wanting.
lots of self change happening around here.



and then there's blogging.
does anyone else find blogging to be a soul soother? i could write for days.
alas, i worry that i've lost my art. my inspiration. perhaps i'll take a month and try to get back into a groove. i'm sure there's something in there that needs to be said, if only i can find it.


this fancy little thang has been bopping around life as usual.

she's talking so much lately, and we literally watch her pronounciation improving daily. she never ceases to amaze me with what she knows and the capacity she has to learn and grow. if i'm being honest, she's quite a sassy little thing, as well. all that sass and determination is a quality i cherish in her, but the sass is a lot louder now that it has words to go along with it. good gracious, she's such a fighter i worry that i'm not quite brave enough to take her on!

i have recently unlocked some secrets to emery and they have helped us both to understand each other better. i'll share those soon, hoping that others who have strong willed and delightfully sassy kids can benefit.


can i ask what other parents do when their kids scream "no!!!" back at them? you know, the one  with a defiant foot stomp, arms crossed and an angry face? my boys never screamed back at me in this way. maybe i dodged a bullet earlier on, but i'm surely gaining it back ten fold.
i'd love to know some techniques from other parents of kids from "hard places" (as opposed to bio kids, as i believe different techniques are necessary).

** update: loved this comment from MarthaB! thanks girl!
"Oh the "no!" we know it all too well around here lately. DD only does it in public as she knows it is going to get a reaction either from me or other shoppers who look to see where the remarkably loud noise is coming from and in her little world any reaction is better than none at all. What I have found works best for us is taking her to a quieter place in whatever store we are in, I get her on my lap and ask what is upsetting her and once she has my undivided attention she tends to calm down. We will take a few minutes, in fact it just happened yesterday in WM and after the first no we had a snuggle session on the floor of the junior's dept. for about 10 minutes which ended in some kisses from her and the rest of the trip went fine. Next we will work on not even going there with the "nos", I am attending Empowered to Connect in April and am hoping to come away with some ideas!"
 
MarthaB, i've been loving Empowered to Connect! i heard Amy Monroe speak last month and she was incredible!!!!




....more to come soon, poor little lost blog.



4 comments:

  1. YES! My daughter is a strong one. I sometimes wonder if she's 6 going on 17.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh the "no!" we know it all too well around here lately. DD only does it in public as she knows it is going to get a reaction either from me or other shoppers who look to see where the remarkably loud noise is coming from and in her little world any reaction is better than none at all. What I have found works best for us is taking her to a quieter place in whatever store we are in, I get her on my lap and ask what is upsetting her and once she has my undivided attention she tends to calm down. We will take a few minutes, in fact it just happened yesterday in WM and after the first no we had a snuggle session on the floor of the junior's dept. for about 10 minutes which ended in some kisses from her and the rest of the trip went fine. Next we will work on not even going there with the "nos", I am attending Empowered to Connect in April and am hoping to come away with some ideas!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't think it has anything to do with not being bio in terms of her saying no. Just stay calm and tell her she is not being nice. Give her choices if possible. Allow her to feel like she has some control when possible. Saying no means she feels comfortable enough to stick up for herself. It can be a good quality. You do not want a child that can't say no. It can be frustrating though. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  4. My 4 year old does this and just the past few days, my 17 month old learned the word no..and now I'm waiting to get it from her. If I am at home, I try (and I will admit that I fail at this at times) to tell my 4 year old that she is not to talk to me that way because God wants us to to 'honor our father and mother" and that this reaction and attitude is not honoring to me. I then, put her in time out for a few minutes for her to think about her actions.

    I can't say that I have trouble when I am out places. My girls tend to be very well behaved when I'm out. I have found that staying calm, even when you are ready to pull your hair out..helps. (disclaimer....I am far from perfect and loose my cool often)

    ReplyDelete

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