my captivated heart

we needed a beautiful warm day like you wouldn't believe.
today was medicine for my soul.
i needed an afternoon to sit in the grass and be captivated.
i've been reading in Ephesians. about God wanting us to allow Him to love us. there are so many days when i refuse to be loved. refuse to submit. refuse to be captivated by just how loved i am by my Creator. such a powerful thing.
and when i allow myself to be loved in that sort of captivating way, it opens up my stress-filled mind to be captivated by the beauty around me.
i literally filled up my memory card today with this girl.

i just couldn't stop soaking in her spider crawl. her side glance peeking out from her hoodie.

her sneaky obsession with bubbles and the fact that she managed to dump 3 bottles of them. her giggle over silly things and her stern face when she is concentrating hard.

just looking at these pictures makes me want to go scoop her up and squeeze her with crazy kisses.

her smile is the best thing i've ever seen

she is quite infatuated with dirt. the little girl who refused (and do mean REFUSED) to set foot in the grass, dirt, sand, etc when we brought her home is now right in the midst with the boys...scooping and pouring and only occasionally eating :)

it was so warm in fact that the boys kicked off their shoes and pretended it was summer again.
warm, awesome, summer. 

someone practiced a few awesome moves...

someone wasn't feeling well and needed some encouragement to gather up the tears. the thought of bare feet did the trick and mr. happy appeared.

i let sister scootch into the neighbors yard. she scootched about 20 feet away before she looked back. big brother was quite convinced that was much too far.

can you see the concern? the hands on the hips? can you tell how much he looks after her? even 20 feet away is too far.


i reminded myself a million times today to stop trying to do everything. stop trying to keep it together.
i cried a few times as i gazed into this little ones eyes. she leaned her head against mine. she knows me so well already.

i snuggled and hugged this little one every time he asked me to.

and i took a snooze on the couch with this one on my shoulder because big boys need to snuggle more than i realize.

i am really good at allowing myself to feel defeated.
but today, i allowed my heart to be captivated.