a new baseline

i've been having a rough patch.
i can't get ahead.
i can't complete everything on my ever-filled plate
i can't seem to catch my breath during the course of our days.
i'm negative. as you can see from all of my "i can't" phrases.
i talk to me kids about it all the time. when they whine "but mom, i can't..."
we talk about "yes you can! you can do anything you put your mind to!"

but i haven't been drinking my own medicine.
i've been "i can't-ing" through my days.
it rubs off. it's discouraging. it's dangerously self-pity-partying.

i felt unheard. alone. lost in my world of a chaotic baseline so much so that no matter how much i try to catch up...the baseline of a messy house, un-finished paperwork, unorganized closets, chaos at every turn...the baseline was always there no matter what i do or accomplish.

enter husband.
awesome amazing incredible husband.
on saturday, he took the kids bright and early. all three of them. they went on amazing and fun excursions, did lunch and dinner out and about. i didn't hear from them all day. when i texted to check in, he simply replied "we're fine! go back to relaxing!"

i had one entire day to my own devises.
i cleaned the entire house.
i organized and hung shelves and hooks and threw stuff out and put stuff away.
i watched 4 episodes of Parenthood, my new all time favorite show.

at 4pm i collapsed with the most relaxed and refreshed baseline i can remember in recent history.

the husband and kids returned about 5:30 to a very happy mama.
a mama who felt heard and loved and brand spanking new.

i am ever so grateful for a husband who can read me so well. who knows that i'm struggling but doesn't hold it against me. never ever.
he is a rock star dad. plain and simple.