55 & sunny {i think it's spring}

today was incredible. it made me forget we are just now starting winter...as if the warmth of the afternoon lulled me into believing warm days are ahead instead of snow.

the company of friends and kids running wild together outside...there is no better remedy to a week of hibernation.

especially when those friends don't care that i'm wearing the clothes i had on yesterday...i'm not wearing a stitch of makeup and i have no idea what conglomeration of clothing my children found this morning.

those are the friends of real life. the best kind.

oh and our friends penny and eleanor got these razor thingies for christmas.

clearly they are only fun for children. :)

 

i'm finally at peace with emery's surgery (on dec 28th). i have no idea why it's taken my heart so long to get on board...but today i woke up excited. excited to see her new smile and sweet nose. excited for healing and a knowing that surgery isn't always looming.

i'm excited for it to be OVER!!! i get all skittery thinking about walking her into the hospital. into registration. waiting. pre-op. waiting waiting waiting. and then the dreaded recovery room. when we see her for the first time. ok, now i'm gonna throw up.
i think i was saying how excited i was??
yea, something like that :)

 (laurel won over miss emery today. the mere mention of the slide had emery singing "again" again and again.)

i got a sweet email from my friend ashley this week. her baby girl is in china. she's in the hardest part of the journey...the unknown part. she told me that the new shared list of children was released from china this week and many joyful families are seeing the sweet faces of their children. she reminded me of last year...one week before christmas when we got our email and we saw emery's tiny little photo for the first time.

 i could have never dreamed that this little bundle of wonderful was the child in that photo.

i get all misty just looking at her beauty, her stature, her sweet way of tapping my legs when she wants a hug.

they way she is curious but not mischievous

the way her light frame feels like i'm holding a baby doll

oh my dear child...you bring so much joy!! 

my mind has been so focused on surgery...i sort of forgot what a special christmas this is.
emery's very first one...and the first with our whole family together.
it's quite surreal when i think about it...
and yet, it feels normal. natural. the way it's supposed to be.
maybe that's why i forgot...because it feels odd to think of a day without her.
like we were a different family way back then

we have a lot to celebrate.