cleft lips for all {my ugly high horse}

we are 2 weeks out from emery's lip and nose reconstruction.
(scheduled for dec 28th)
at pre-op today, i asked a lot of questions. i came prepared with a long list.

i know better what to ask and what to expect.
i've seen the deep cavern.
i've been to the not-so-magical forest.
i'm well versed in how long it takes to reach the summit after plummeting to the pits.
and i know i serve a God fully capable of healing emery emotionally and physically after all is said and done.

and yet, i have a confession

i've reached a new tolerance low-level. 
security clearance should be required
i can feel my heart filling with ugliness
and it's not a good color on me.

i'm becoming excessively sick of people staring when we are out and about.
i feel irritated when i see a shocked expression and finger pointed in my daughter's direction.
can't you see how incredible she is, lady?
why don't you take a moment and stare into her eyes instead of at her mouth, young man??
seriously people.
at least get a little more creative with your staring. use dark tinted sunglasses or spyware goggles.
or maybe just try saying hi. or asking questions. we don't bite. 

knowing the deep and indescribable joy that this girl brings, leads me to feel anger burning each time someone walks by with a gaper-delay.
i'm half tempted to spout off to some punk kid in the elevator: "look out dude...don't you know cleft lips are contagious? especially when you stare at them for too long. i have been immunized (said with a haughty tone)....but sadly you have not."

see what i mean? ugly ugly heart.


amidst all my ugly-heartedness, i have a burning question to ask my Creator.
why weren't we all created with cleft lips and cleft palates???
seriously. i need to know.

if we all had them, they wouldn't be called clefts...
they would just be lips.
palates.

no one would look or stare.

if only we were all creatively lipped
each with our own unique lippy style
then she wouldn't have to endure all of this
she could be as she was created
with her wide and joyous smile
i could kiss her precious clefty lips with my own clefty lips.

people born with lips that went straight across their mouth would be gawked at.
they would be the unusual ones.
we would all wonder when a surgeon was going to cut their lip open to make them look just like the rest of us.

i'm on a high horse.
i need to hop down now.

this is the last i will mention my extreme cleft loyalty.
i will henceforth be on board with surgery and regular old lips.
straight across, uncreative, lips.


oh and i'm going to super-glue my straight old regular lips closed so i don't say some ridiculous statement in the elevator. some punk kid will be spared my crazy, oversensitive mom anger :)