epically honest {whew}

whew. the past few days have been unlike anything i've ever experienced.

i'd be lying if i said i didn't consider deleting my epically honest post.
in fact, i considered deleting it at least 73 times :)

but amidst my embarrassment in putting it all out there, having a baseline of honestly feels refreshing. the clarity that it produced has been a beautiful opportunity for healing in my life, as well as a newly opened door into a world where i don't have to have it all together. opening that door has also enabled so many sweet readers and friends to be incredibly vulnerable and genuine in sharing their life experiences with me. the common bond of honesty is truly a beautiful gift.

friend after friend...story after story... Gods providence in darkness...His ability to heal...encouragement and genuine honesty...
if you ever need to be encouragement, take a gander at these comments. every word spoke deep into my soul, taking to heart the wisdom of so many.

God used a silly thing like this blog to reach a part of me that felt unreachable.

thank you sweet friends. thank you for being so unconditional and loving when i needed it.
i feel covered in prayer as i walk this journey.
i'm finally ok with being right where God has me...even if it feels like uncharted land.


i grabbed my camera today for the first time in a few weeks.
it's usually an appendage that walks life with us, and it felt wonderful to feel my shutter snapping. to feel the breeze. to capture her smile...or at least to try :)

she's a cute & squirmy little thang!

she is fascinated by snow...actually anything cold is hilarious to her. she's constantly sneaking into the refrigerator to feel the shelves and touch the condiments in the door. she laughs hysterically and signs "cold! cold! cold!"

there are muddy patches all over our yard and it was all i could do to keep her from plopping her cute little tooshie right in the middle of one :)

i realized recently that we don't have a recent family photo. not a single one!! the last ones we have are the ones on my blog header...which i LOVE...but wow, a lot has changed since then, as they were taken only 2 weeks after emery came home. i'm trying to find a time this month to have the incredible Jensen Photography duo back out to snap some new family pics.
but until then, i finally bribed my way to three smiling kids. yes, bribed.

mr. foster is all about the photo op. he will karate kick, free fall, cannon ball, cartwheel or just sit and smile. anything for a photo. mr. rowan? he's another story all together. but when i mentioned valentines chocolate? 1/2 hour before dinner? after they already consumed massive amounts of valentines sugar all.day.long? he was more than willing to flash a smile or two. we're gonna need a sugar detox tomorrow :)

oh these three. so cute, i want to cry! and foster holding his baby sister ever so gently? i nearly sputtered tears into my camera lens!


upon closer inspection...i found some details that make me chuckle :)

 i might not feel like doing a lot of things...but my kids, my camera and a small amount of sanity are joining me for the remainder of the day.

and i'm going to smile, gosh darn it...because there is so so much to smile about!