ultra-small

i happen to have some proof of other things that started out as small seeds

any mom can tell you that the first time seeing their child on an ultrasound screen can be a bit strange and at the same time, one of the most amazing first glimpses of what is transpiring within your own body.

when i was pregnant with foster, my first few ultrasounds were in a chinese hospital in guilin.

not only was i quite unsure of my future mothering skills, the mounting anxiety surrounding the details of labor, and the idea that i was carrying a human being inside of my stomach cavity,

but i was quite freaked by the idea of being in a room of 12 chinese woman who were all anxious to see what an enutero american baby looked like.


when my eyes first glimpsed him
it was like the room was empty.
it was just me and my seed.
my tiny little seed
my overwhelming reaction of wild and crazy love caught me off guard.

our little seed.
no one else could have combined to make him possible.
it was truly a landmark moment in our lives

if you are pre-parenthood

looking from afar at all of us shuffling and cutting minuet bites and whining about lack of sleep

it might all seem like a scary frenzy of crying babies and goopy diapers and a totally re-routed lifestyle.

but i just have to say,
when you yourself find yourself in the ultrasound room
for the first time
looking at your seed
you'll know what i mean.
there is no going back.
and that's the best part.

it's a seed.
it starts out small
and captivating