what more do we really need??

i've been learning a lot about the wilderness. the phase of life that tenderizes patience. at times it feels endless. stressful. bleak. there are days when in the wilderness of life...the time in between...when i start to loose it a little. the things i haven't accomplished mount. i start forgetting things. like returning phone calls and what's on my grocery list. things start slipping through the cracks when stress starts seeping in. i don't rest. i constantly run at 230% capacity and 20% efficiency.

i've been concentrating on my attitude.  i must make and active choice to thrive amongst the weeds and brush land of the wilderness...thriving in the spirit of being positive. being ok with things not necessarily being ok. being strong in the faith i know is being built, even when it feels weak.

i know i am speaking very abstractly.
there are specifics that the blog world doesn't need to know, but the specifics really don't matter when you get right down to it.
no matter the circumstance, the wilderness is important. 
no matter how much i hate it, the wilderness is important.
how else will i appreciate the blessings that are surely to come if i don't take notice and breadth of the struggle in between.

it seems the wilderness contains areas where the stakes are low. kind of like a practice round.
preparing for the high stakes. the real deal. the big one.
a sounding board for our heart attitude.

this past week, the stakes rose. i could feel them rising. i had peace in the midst of our new level of wilderness. all the while i had been complaining these past few months, God was protecting. i see it now. the stakes had been low and i didn't notice. i had no idea what was coming. my head was buried deep in the sand hoping things wouldn't get worse instead of lifting my chin up and looking around. making a plan. taking notice and breadth of the struggle. buckling down.

i see it now. i'm embracing. buckling. taking notice.

it's been a rough week. but in the midst of a week i would love to erase and forget it ever happened, i am somehow thankful for our wilderness.
i will know how to better rejoice when the wilderness meets the promise land.
i will know better what i am made of.
if nothing else, we pull together. we join up. cut off the excess and pull in the stuff of life that really matters.

we spent yesterday evening playing on the tire swing with the boys. we laughed. the boys giggled and we tried to see who could swing the highest. clint pushed me so high up into the tree branches i screeched with both laughter and fear. we spun each other until we were so dizzy we couldn't walk.

we have each other.
what more do we really need??