she looks in with awe as her friends from home miraculously appear on the screen. a woman who has never been up with technology, who feels much more comfortable plucking chicken feathers than plotting away on a keyboard, can't quite grasp the concepts of the modern age. forget cell phones and laptops, we struggle daily to help her understand how to change the channel on the TV.
yesterday, we skyped with her sister Teece, who gave a rundown of the news from Butler. the birthday countdown for various family members and they compared notes on the weather...which is always hilarious because even though my granny can look outside and see there is 8 inches of snow on the ground, she always says "it's 40 degrees and sunny here! i'm so glad i'm not back home in all the snow!"
it's frightening to see her mind fail her. a mind and a whit that have always been alive and well, have taken a toll greater than i have experienced first hand. i've heard people talk of watching loved ones transverse Alzheimer's, but to see it in front of you...day after day...to see what sticks in her mind and oh-so-much that does not...it's heartbreaking. and honestly, a little frustrating at times...like when she forgot that rowan was a boy and called him a "beautiful little girl" for a month straight...finally i cut his long blonde hair off :) which seemed to help.
we bathe her, and feed her, and count it an honor to serve a woman who served her family for so many years. a woman who's self worth is the lowest on the rung...who sees herself as the last that should be successful, worthy, praised...as having no place in today's world...who longs for the day when she will meet Jesus in person. if only she knew her worth. if only she thought more of her value in our family. if only i could glimpse her back in the day...witty and sassy...running amuck with her brothers and sisters...making homemade potato chips and doughnuts from scratch...planting gardens and washing mounds of laundry by hand. 60 years ago, we would be the same age. she would be scampering after children and praising God for the little things like flour and sugar to cook with. i have a lot to learn from her. her humbleness. her witty banter. her ability to count it all as God's blessings on her life.
today i made her a grilled cheese, yogurt and a glass of red wine.
my sassy granny. it's a honor to serve you.
What an incredible granny and what a beautiful attitude and outlook you have Ang. It is such a beautiful picture of the love of Christ being so tangibly played out in your house. Thank you for letting us in and for encouraging even when you're just being you!
ReplyDelete