warning. honesty ahead.

2 cups of coffee and a semi night's sleep are keeping the morning going around here. my first few days as a mom of 3 have been great. great laced with "geeze, this is really hard!"

i'm struggling to figure this new normal out. i know, it's only been a few days, but i'm usually great under pressure. i expect myself to think on the fly, roll with the punches...but one thing i'm learning about myself is that i don't handle stress as well as i think i do. the mornings around here are usually filled with laughter and giggles and telling silly stories at breakfast. since we came home, it's looked a lot more like a circus act, but the kind that ends up more like a train wreck. like how one child won't eat cereal if the spoon is too big, and he chucked it across the kitchen table in an act of cereal defiance this morning. or how another child refused to eat breakfast, unless he could eat what i was eating (the last serving of the most amazing homemade granola/chobani yogart/fruit that my dearest denise brought over on saturday. we have each indulged in giant helpings and i awoke this morning with dreams of polishing off the last of it's deliciousness.) instead, i had a bowl of cherios. and my little lady, well, she's quite happy, unless she's not. and then i struggle to know what she needs. i'm discovering that if i don't figure out what she's asking for quickly, then she becomes irate and won't calm down no matter what we do. although she likes walks. so we walk. a lot. otherwise, she's turning out the be the easier of the 3. my sweet rowie. oh he's such a mama's guy...but he's upset a lot since we came back. he wants daddy. he asks all day long when daddy is coming home. i LOVE that he loves daddy, but he's never done this before. he's always been happy and content being home with mommy. but now mommy has an appendage, and when daddy is home, he gets more attention. i keep trying to be purposeful about spending time with him, but it's proving harder than i anticipated because of all of my running around and figuring things out.

is this what 3 or more kids is like? you feel all day long like one of them needs you but you can't get to them in time?
i know i'll find my stride. i know i haven't practiced 3 kids yet. it takes some routine practice to find the one that fits. i know that. i'm going to keep focusing on the things i can do, the little things. we're going to try out the grocery store today, just so i can prove to myself that we can all get in the car and go somewhere. and then i'm going to bed early with a glass of wine and The Office reruns on netflix :)